Thursday, July 31, 2003

Lucas says I stabbed him in the back. We were fighting on the train yesterday...like he started out friendly enough. He started out asking me about how's business, you know. Then he was riding me all about artistic integrity and trying to cut me down and you know if he hadn't had such a big mouth in the first place this wouldn't have happened. Man, I was angry. He was just supposed to introduce me to some people to get me started. That's what he said he wanted to do. I mean, Lucas talked about BigMan like he didn't really know who he was and that was bad. Now ErosToon is talking about BigMan like they don't even care who he is. Lucas has got all the deal lingo down and just rhymes it off. Too bad he's such a jerk.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Places to go, people to see. I'm all business now. But, I'm starting to get jealous of the big concert. Is nobody working? I'm starting to think I should really be there. The hype is really getting to me. The historical perspective is awesome. I wonder if it will live up to the hype. Or if it will get real toronto tiny because that huge amount technical crap will break down for a couple of minutes...or a couple of hours...will that huge amount of people be all kind and happy? Or will the prime minister have to call out the army? It's incredible to think about. I'm not going. Got other more important things to do than listen to music right now.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Interesting night last night. I was going to report on the "research" I did for Randy's party to Pete and then Brenda Murphy sat right down beside us. So, we managed a covert conversation. Pete was trying to get me, but I got him back. In the end though, Brenda thought we were both cross dressers. Okay, so I know we were joking about it and talking like that, but she didn't even flinch. She just thought that we were. What does that mean? Then, because she thought we liked wearing skirts and stuff, she tells us about her kid. She found pictures of him dressed in her clothes. That's gotta hurt her. Pete said David Bowie turned out alright, but I think she wasn't that comforted. She's pretty straight laced. Aside from drinking, gambling and scandal making, she's a very innocent type. By the way, I think Pete has forgotten all about Victoria, now that he's concentrating on strippers. Deep guy.

Monday, July 28, 2003

I was feeling pretty good on Friday. It's not every day that a big-time rich guy is jealous of me. That woud be Pete. Mr. Suit and Briefcase. Mr. Earplug. El Bastardo. I've never seen him act like such a...a kid. He's dellusional about Victoria. And I'm enjoying what is real. A real nice relationship. I hope I see her again. As for the rest of the weekend, BigMan dominated my world. Even the shape of the peanut butter on my toast became a candidate for a new character on BigMan. Luckily, when you are completely over your head with work that you don't know how you're going to finish in time, there are other obligations you have to take care of to stretch your brain completely out of shape. I took a break from work work and worked on Randy's party. I never thought I would be glad when a party was over.

Friday, July 25, 2003

I met Victoria on the train again. Wow. That was like, nice. But, what is it with Pete? He just hands me these strippers' phone numbers right in front of her, like it's something I'm all into. Luckily she seemed to understand when I told her about the stag party. She also warned me to be careful of Pete. Well, that's for sure. He was acting really strange yesterday. Like he wanted to get me or something. I thought we had a truce. He couldn't be jealous of Victoria? He dumped her. I don't know why. She's amazing. She likes me a WHOLE lot. She came back to my place to have my pasta special. Gossip and private lives really get around on the train home. I should know, eh? I don't think Victoria would like that. She seems very decent. She's very...mature.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

I was at my table drawing and working on this BigMan stuff and I talked to Shauna. A little while later, she talked to me again,and I said, hey, you changed your clothes. And she said, like, it's a different day, you know. Man, I get so intense on this stuff, I don't notice time passing. But it's a lot of work...for $3000. Hmmm. I should be hearing from those guys anytime now. It's a bit scary. It's just me. I don't have that big time producer stuff happening like with Lucas. And, god, the party. Man, I'm swamped. When will I have a little fun in life?

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Have you ever planned a stag party? I'm the best man, so I'm supposed to do it, apparently. Doesn't sound like I want to be there, but I'm first on the list anyway. And I'm busy with the series - the artwork, the stories, the characters, the business. Everything. Pete is also insisting that we do this old traditional thing. Cigars, we don't smoke. Booze, alright. Steaks - do I have to pay for them? Strippers. I don't know. I don't think Randy would really like that idea. And if Agnes EVER found out. I met her yesterday. Not so bad. But Randy was so nervous, there must be something else. He was rolling his tie! All the girls seemed to like Agnes fine. But maybe that's women. But a stripper? I've seen enough naked women in life drawing classes. All kinds. Except for Randy's sake - I've got to figure this out. Pete says if Randy's a man, he'll want it. Maybe if it was a green stripper. A Star Trek stripper. I don't think I like it. By the way, Pete says I have brass balls for business. I think I like it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

I feel like I'm living in two different worlds. Lucas is so angry with me I didn't even look at him, let alone say hello. He was seething. I know it was about me. Then, at the same time, Randy is making me laugh so loud - in my head - I couldn't laugh at him out loud. He's so smart. Then he goes and paints his head. Dana said he looked like Astro Boy. I mean...he did all this for a woman. God, I hope I don't get that way. Maybe if I don't go bald. Maybe if I don't lose my mind.

Such a mistake with Lucas. I've blown it. It's an ugly feeling.

Monday, July 21, 2003

I had the worst Friday ever. Actually, I think that this might have topped when Pete passed out my Blog. I went to this meeting with Lucas at lunch on Friday and I was so blase, so like whatever because I can't exactly entertain offers. Anyway, this tactic completely backfired and they were lovin' it. Great. Just what I wanted. In my Zach fantasy world, the people would have been so offended by my indifference and Lucas would have been angry. He would have pulled a if you can't take this seriously, I don't think that I want to do business with you deal and I would have been free. Free! But of course, nothing in the world of Zach Eisler happens the way it should.
I did it. I told him. I told him that I signed an option agreement and that he isn't part of the deal. I thought that I was going to throw up. He started saying that the reason that the producers don't want him involved so they can take advantage of me. I was really upset by that. The reason that they want me is because its my idea and he can add nothing to the project but flash. That's what Lucas is, all style, no substance. Then he started going on and on about how I was taken advantage of and how he's actually happy to get out now. He said that I could have gotten $30,000 in development money alone.
I was confused by this. I don't know anything about this stuff and I feel like I'm in a vulnerable situation. We'll see how things pan out. I haven't even finished BigMan episode#1 so I don't know what the deal is. I just hope that they are good people.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

I didn't tell him. I couldn't. I really wanted to but I just couldn't bring myself to... Lucas has even arranged a meeting for us at Nelvana which is one of the biggest animation companies in Canada. I said I would go. I tried to get out of it. I should have told him. He' s just so excited about it. I couldn't do it. I suck.

Brenda Murphy got fired yesterday, gave her two weeks notice. She was pretty surprised becuase she thought she was getting a raise. I got fired from a temping job a while back because I stold some hi-lighters (long story). That was totally different because I didn't want to be designing posters at a dumb bank company anyway. This job is Brenda's whole life. I actually feel sorry for her. She really is one of those "means well" people.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

What exactly is an option agreement? Here's what I think it is: A development promise from a company to pay serious attention to something that you've done. At least, I hope that's what it is. So I'm signing my life away to ErosToon (the not so porn porn company). They called me yesterday and said that there were interested in developing the idea of BigMan: The Animated Series. There were pretty positive about everything but who knows what's really going on. I've never had anyone hand me $3000 in a lump sum. I suppose it should go right into the old saving account. I don't know... it's weird to be paid for something that you've always done for free. I mean, I'm someone who was alwasy told that you aren't going to make a living drawing pictures. Strangely, I feel that I'm on the verge of something. Here's the bad part of what I've done: I've told the ErosToon folks that Lucas isn't essential to BigMan. I guess I got swept away in the moment and lost sight of how things are done. That's the official response and the way I'll present it. I've got to tell him though... I jsut don't know how to do it. In my defense, Lucas really doesn't have anything to do with the project other than talking it up. I mean, he isn't essential. I just don't want to tell him. I hate keeping secrets because, well, I'm terrible at it.
I tried to talk to someone about it but Shauna was working late and Erik had rented a couple of DVDs... what kind of person rents "Shanghai Knights" anyway... that's the kind of movie you see on a plane or something. Judging from the comedies that he brought home, he wasn't in the mood to talk about how I've betrayed my producer. I even called my parents to talk but my mother started telling me how my cousin just got into some American law school. It's very exciting... aparently. So I didn't really tell her what's going on.
I just hope that I haven't made a terrible mistake.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

It's pretty slow at work. The city has all these "events" they put on but in between "events" it's like dead air.

Still haven't heard anything from those companies. Those film people sure work on a different schedule than the rest of the world. They kept on saying "There is no funding crisis" like it was some kind of hilarious industry inside joke. I'm like... whatever.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Weekend was good. Saturday was the only crappy weekend that we've had in Toronto since the summer started. It was good because I knew I would spending the entire weekend indoors at the Toronto Trek Convention, and had a great time. Randy was there and he was way more relaxed than he's been in a while. I think it was because it was because Agnes was out of town. He seemed to be enjoying the day, wearing Spock ears and everything.
Nothing else really going on. Oh wait... yeah, Pete almost killed me on Friday, demanding his $110? Aparently some transit authority flashlight cop stoped him and didn't think that he was Christopher Walken. So poor old Petey's got a fine. He should stop passing himself off as celebrities if he doesn't want to face the consequences.
Haven't seen Shauna around? I think she's working double shifts this week. It's amazing how you could live with someone and never see them!

Friday, July 11, 2003

So since I 've spoken to Lucas about the situation, I can be free to write this without the chance that there will be any backlash over this.

We had our last meeting yesterday with this group called Eros Toon (that's the not-quite-porn-porn-company) and it was the best of the bunch. Now I'll say this... I haven't had much experience in the media industry. At work, I just keep to myself, hang out with people like Michelle and Jerry the courier. There are others but all I'm saying is that there isn't this 'got to be a people person' ethic that there seems to be in the entertainment industry. Got to be a people person... what's that all about? I mean, I'm not a sociopath or anything but I'm not exactly mr. social butterfly. So when we go into those meetings, I'm supposed to be "open" and "inclusive". Aparently Lucas felt that I didn't make enough of an effort to include these producers in my pitch. But then again, Lucas gets into pitching mode and its all metaphors and similies. And I'm like... slow down there cowboy... even the producer is confused. I guess that that's the way that they are supposed to talk.

Probably the most hurtful thing was that Lucas gave off the impression that he had been involved in the BigMan creative process. That was a little too difficult to stomach. BigMan is my creation. That's my dream. I thought that Bone Shredder (or whatever that film's called) was his. I wonder if he just sees that this what I want to be doing and not some kind of time to cash in on the inexperience guy. He acts as if he's my savior, like I would have never got these meetings or even be serious about my work without him. Okay, in some ways, he is right... as much as I hate to admit it. As I have said, I would never be at the point where I would even be considering doing an animated series.

I just don't want to sell out.

I wonder if I'm really ready for this step. Randy pointed out how someone like Stan Lee had to struggle for years before he was able to turn his comics into television shows.

Randy thinks I should suck it up and wait to see what happens. I jsut get that queasy feeling listening to Lucas describe BigMan as Superman or Spiderman. Too much angst for a Friday!

Thursday, July 10, 2003

I called in sick for the first time yesterday. I've never done that before and there is a certain power in pretending to be ill. I was a little surprised at how easy it was but was even more surprised when Shelley said that she wasn't surprsied. She said that I've looked a little "under the weather" (ie. like hell) for the past couple of days.
So I went to those BigMan meetings with Lucas. It was a bit of a weird situation and I don't really want to write much about it because I don't really want to psycho-analyse and debate it anymore in my head. There are times when you have to either let things go or speak up and I'm not quite sure which one of those times it will be. I talked to people I trust (like the always helpful and lovely Shauna) and have had very different responses. I just don't know how to handle the situation so I'll leave it at that. I'll update all you loyal Zach-ites (or do you prefer Zach-heads?? Ha HA like anyone cares) as soon as it unfolds. I also don't want to jinx the meetings by talking them up or down. I used to be the kind of person who would get so excited about things that when they didn't pan out it hit me pretty hard.
I'm sure that there's nothing between Michelle and myself. Another case of over-analysis here and wondering to the xtreme. I really think that she jsut sees me as a friend and well, that's actually okay for the moment as I have other things going on right now. I also don't know if I want to go out with someone who is vastly superior at video games. Not that I have a complex about being beaten at a game.... by a girl. I just don't want to be beaten by anyone!
So back at work today and working on the fringe layout because of the last minute show reviews and updates. I don't think that anyone even noticed that I wasn't there yesterday. Well, when I'm a rich n' famous and everyone asks what I was like back BEFORE... I bet everyone will remember me. I just hope I don't get described as one of those quiet, shy, kept to himself types.

Yeah right!

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

So now everything is spinning out of control in a completely different way. At first I thought that my life couldn't get any more complicated but as I review this blog, sure enough there are always strange and unusal goings on in the world of Zach Eisler. Typical. Just when something comes to an end, another thing begins. Someone wise once said that everything comes in threes. Well, they are right.

So here's what happened. First off all, there's this girl at work, Michelle who is pretty cool. I mean, she isn't a typical girl and likes video games and Kung-Fu movies... although, I am discovering that there appears to be no such thing as a typical girl these days. Anyway... so we were hanging out and she mentioned that her Xbox was broken. I started teasing her that it hates her and that it is just on strike or wants some alone time... but anyway, she thought it was funny and we ended up deciding that she was going to come over because she swore she could beat me at Grand Theft Auto. Technically, it wasn't an official date but she is a girl so I guess that's halfway there. She came over for a couple fo hours and actually beat the champ but I had an excuse. My mind was all focused on...

BIGMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES!! Right, so of everyone on the train, Lucas (who we all might remember me calling a doink earlier in this blog) take it the best. He's been all over getting me meetings for the series. It's a weird thing because something that could have destroyed my relationship with people has actually lead to this connection between Lucas and myself. There are three companies that I'm having meetings with today. One of them does kids shows and the other one has done animations. The last one is called Eros Toon and they do more riske work. Lucas assures me that they don't do porn but I don't know what that means. I was pretty freaked out because this is all very sudden but also I'm like, what am I going to say in these meetings? Lucas saw that I looked like I was going to have a nervous breakdown and decided that he would do the pitch and use me as the creative guy.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Vengence is mine.

It's a bad day to be Pete. A very bad day.

Monday, July 07, 2003

It's weird because I'm looking at this blog with a whole new respect. Part of me doesn't want to write anything too controversial so I'll try to put a cap on my emotions. On the other hand, my readers demand the truth and as it appears that I actually have a fan-base, there is a responsibility to be genuine.

It's a hard line to walk and I must do it in a Johnny Cash style.

So Lucas has some great ideas for BigMan storylines on Friday. He seems to want to introduce me to people that can turn BigMan into BigMan:The Animated Series. It's a little fast, I mean, I've only got a couple of issues ideas but Lucas was showing me how easy it is to use the newspapers as a source. Some of his ideas were pretty terrible but a lot of them had weight. I'll have to think about it. That's a big step. I mean, I always thought that it would be:

1. Publish independant comic book
2. Find larger publisher to work with
3. Get cult following
4. Get animated series on network like that one Spike Lee is suing.

and I'm not even at step #1 yet.

I try not to get my hope up but my imagination tends to run away with me.

By the way, I'm still Randy's best man. I know that I've said some pretty mean things about Randy but he is a classy guy. I tried to resign from being his best man after hurting his feelings and he wouldn't accept him. I am a very lucky person to have a friend like that. To demonstrate my gratitude, I helped him fold 200 paper geese. I think they're for the wedding invites... or he likes to torture me.

Friday, July 04, 2003

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

After a brief - shall we call it - "holiday", I have returned.

First off, certain posts have been adjusted to coincide with certain events. So Liz if you read this, changes have been made.

On the other hand, I want to say I have learned my lesson about being so obvious with my weblog. Expect changes in the future, though none of the Zach-isms that you know and lovewill dispear. I just think that I need to implement some changes.

Also, I've received a LOT of support from the blogging community since this whole discovery happened. I just want to thank everyone for being on my side when it looked like so many of my friends were against me. I am sorry for what I did and yes, it was immature and idealistic to think that nobody would find my website and blog. However, I never knew that I had this support system of people I have never met in person. Thanks, everyone. It's been a tough couple of days.

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