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Friday, August 29, 2003

Okay, don't get excited. I'm...I have to stop this blog for a bit. I need to take care of the small and huge parts of my life that are getting out of control. I don't mean I don't want to write - I just think I'll be forgetting, doing a half-assed job. Faking it, is what I mean. I don't want to do that. I'll let you know what happens next in my life. Look out for Johnny's web site. I am so totally stoked to get going on that and blow him away. God only knows if he'll be able to make a business of sheds - but he told me that Charity's got a good idea for kids' sheds, I guess like playhouses. That sounds very marketable. The diversifications are great. I think if he just gets it all in order instead of doing stupid things first, he's got a chance. I'm also getting in order. That's why you won't be hearing from me for a while. If Johnny really gives me $2000, maybe I can go away for awhile. Going to take a course in September. Tonight, on the way home...going to help Brenda out. She's going to get conned, maybe hurt. We don't want that.

Peace out!!

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Hot enough for you? I'm planning some very big things. I have surveyed my territory. I've got a steady job, a contract with a production company, a bid to do my own comic book, and a contract - so to speak - to do Johnny's website and logo. And a steady girlfriend. Funny, didn't I dump her a few days ago? I'm sorry I mean, didn't I say good-bye? I'm sorry - just a bit confused, bitter about that. That's a lot to handle. If I put myself into an animated film, like "The Little Prince" - only thank god I'm lots taller, I'm standing on this world of mine. I'm dominating it. But it's still tiny. I haven't done much with my website. Not since I opened it. I have to reclaim my life. Clean up, make the right choices. I'm thinking a lot. Randy got really stung by Liz. She's all over this restaurant guy. He's always leading her away from himself. Too bad I didn't do that with Victoria.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I have a few moments to myself. I feel like an outlaw hiding out. It's all quiet out there. What I mean is, there's no calls from Victoria, voicing yet another serious matter. When I say my ears have been burning, I mean literally. So, while everything is still, I will tell you another crazy story. Mrs. Murphy has found her urn, but she's going to pay some wacko $1000 to get it back!!!! I mean, okay, it contains the ashes of her husband, but really. I think she has totally sketched out. She doesn't need to be spending money like that. She's got a family and no husband there. She didn't want to listen to me. She listened to this giant fellow who was all "you need to buy your heart's desire before your soul goes bankrupt" kind of stuff. Can you imagine listening to strangers to tell you what to do with the deepest parts of your life...and spend your money to do it too? What is the matter with her? I think he may well have something to do with it. Oh, I'll be able to do a sketch for the police, no problem. He hasn't sat with us before. I hope she gets her brains back before something bad happens. You shouldn't even deal with people like that. It's jsut dangerous.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Three words: Victoria is back.

Do you understand?

I'm taking this course in September, called "The Journey". A friend named Faye said their motto is "kick life in the balls before it gets away from you." In my case, it's the reverse. I broke it off with Victoria and she snapped back like a rubber band. She made me feel so bad. Randy thinks the Journey is a cult. Frankly I don't care. I need help.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Today I reclaim my life. Victoria is a part of my history. She always liked me and supported me, so I think she will be fine with it. I feel very much in control and it feels great. This is what I'm going to be like from now on. So, I have something to take care of, I have to move on it now, make some right decisions and get going. I'll write, but that'll have to be when I'm ready.

Friday, August 22, 2003

I'm on a neighbour's computer. I had to go with my parents to help some of their friends celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Rather astounding, isn't it? I mean, if I started now...They're playing all this old music. Not my stuff, you know. But they're happy and laughing. Even though their six year old granddaugher did a face plant playing in the basement. Wild. Now she's at the hospital with her mother and aunt. And we're left here trying to fill in the holes of the family that has been together for so long. And they just carry on. They're worried, you know, but, they've been carrying on for fifty years. Because people fall down, break things, bleed, get comfort and first aid and carry on. I guess that's what Brenda and Doug were on the way to. I can see where she was hurting about what she'll be missing. Sad, some peeple don't even think it's ever possible. Which brings me to Victoria. I'm going to break up with her. It's not working. I think I needed it to work because I thought she was going to be the first. I thought it needed to work. I thought I needed to go through all the stages. To keep it going. But, I don't think so. The word "dump" is not very nice, but it's well used and well understood. I told Randy (and Faye, a family freind) that I was going to dump her. I should have jsut said Iwas going to break up with her, or stop seeing her. "Dumping' is so egocentric. It's like you don't want to be hurt from losing someone so you use this over the top word to make you feel more in control. Dump them before they dump you. Well, I jsut think she's not the one. It's not an easy thing to say, but I have to. Fifty years. I mean, wow. Totally amazing.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Wow, I tried to start this around noon or something, and the screen went dark. Your basic rolling blackout, I guess. I am feeling GREAT. No, Victoria didn't say yes all of a sudden. Yesterday, I got the news that BigMan is still MINE. Mine, mine, mine. I can do the comic books version. Forget about a series. They can have it. Can you imagine how much work that would be just to keep the television fed? Lucas is so great to have read that. I hope he's right. I hope he wasn't drinking at the time. Didn't sound like it. Actually, he sounds real straight and sober. Going to a lawyer will do that, I guess. But seriously, also yesterday? I got a second job. Drawing and designing. For Johnny's shed business. It's wierd, but he's trying. Besides, I'm in charge. He's looking to me. I'm not sure if he's even seen a web site. He's gonna freak when he sees what I can do. Did we party at my place? Yes we did! We all got plastered and had barbecued hamburgers. I feel great.

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